RESET + REFRESH FOR 2023

Each year, I get so excited to do this fun (and sometimes  tough) journal exercise. It gives me a chance to express gratitude for the past 12-months in anticipation of all that the new year has in store. I encourage you to join me in reflecting on your top 10 of 2022. I don't typically complete these entries in any particular order so feel free to jump around. Even if you're well into January or even February of 2023, I still recommend giving this exercise a try because it can help provide some inspiration if you're still processing your goals for the new year. 

TOP 10 OF 2022

10. Reflect on your bravest moment.
I've attended quite a few social events by myself. This has allowed me to get outside of my comfort zone and connect with others. It's been a great way to increase my network and meet some amazing people. What makes this so brave for me is that I've finally found ways to cope and overcome my social anxiety. It has been so fulfilling putting myself in new social spaces where I can prove to myself that my anxiety doesn't control me. I've also grown to appreciate the ease that comes with attending events on your own. I no longer depend on my friends to determine whether or not I want to do something. This has really been something that has improved my sense of independence and heightened my confidence in navigating new social environments. 

9. What's the best decision you've made and how has it transformed your life for the better?
I became a homeowner this year and it has been an incredibly rewarding and challenging experience. Home ownership has forced me to become more financially stable and it has motivated me to seek education and resources to help guide my short-term and long-term financial goals. When I think about how buying a home has transformed my life, it's so much bigger than me. If anything, it's more of an impact for my legacy, my future, and generations to come. 

8. Wisest words of advice you've received this year?

• "Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, and the conviction of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1
• "Even if it won't change anything, you should still voice your thoughts." - Counselor
• "Communicate your boundaries." - Counselor
• "Two things can be true at once." - My fiancé 

 
7. Your greatest moment of joy?
On July 2, 2022, my best friend proposed to me and I said YES! I don't know how my fiancé  was able to gather all of our closest family and friends for the proposal, but I was blown away. Our tribe traveled far and wide, and I'm just so thankful to have someone in my life who sees me and is open to taking on this adventurous journey called life together. It certainly was an unforgettable weekend.

6. How have you found peace amongst the noise?
I don't think I have. This year has been very chaotic and transitional. Through each transition, I have experienced peace of mind because I've put myself, what I need, and what I want first. However, I'm learning that just because I'm in alignment with what God has for me doesn't necessarily mean that there will be any less chaos or headaches. Instead, it means that I'll have discernment and peace in knowing that I am walking the path that God has designed for me. 

5. Your most unexpected blessing?
The unexpected blessing that has blown me away is how much I love the graduate program I transferred to. I went from studying English to studying Emerging Media Design and Development (EMDD). Obviously, my decision to change graduate programs was intentional, but the part that has been unexpected is how much I love and have passion for what I'm learning. I started my graduate studies in an English program because I thought that's what aspiring authors do, but I'm learning that there is no specific path to anything. Any path can lead everywhere. My EMDD program has shown me that I'm not a weirdo for loving media, design, marketing, writing, and entrepreneurship (all at the same time). More importantly, I have found a program that fits my dreams and aspirations.

4. Greatest gift that money could never buy?
Rest and relaxation

3. How have you taken a leap of faith?
My leap of faith in this season has been forcing myself to be still and less active in self-solving every little desire of my heart. I'm accepting that the things that bother me most and that always surface when I have time to myself to think are not always things that I need to change. I am learning that sometimes there's self-work and development that needs to happen before I put effort into going out in the world and trying to receive what I think it is that I need or deserve. If I jump before I'm ready, my lack of growth will not render the results I'm hoping to receive. It's certainly a stage in my life where I'm relearning how to accept and trust that I will receive in God's timing. 

2. How have you strengthened your character?
I attend counseling once-a-month because I feel like it has become a healthy practice in my life that reveals areas of myself where I need to grow. The idea of therapy can be very taboo because it's fairly universal that who are is a result of our upbringing, but I think what makes counseling so beneficial for me is that it forces me to become who I say I want to be without putting any blame on anyone else for who I am. Who hurt me doesn't matter. What I do with the hurt does. My character has definitely strengthened through therapy. This year has taught me that therapy isn't just something that's useful when I go through really traumatic or challenging times. It's a very useful self-maintenance resource that I keep in my toolbox alongside my faith and other wellness practices.

1. Choose 1-3 words you will use to inspire yourself to continue to grow throughout this new season that is 2023. 

• Prepare
• Stable
• Firm

GET INTO IT!
​Now that reflection is over, it's time to get to gettin on them goals! In my case, I'm going to grab my journal and begin jotting down a few realistic and attainable goals for this year. In the past, I've set lofty goals that lack intention and are disconnected from my lifestyle, so my biggest focus is centering my goals around things that I refuse to go on another year without changing. This ensures I'll be motivated and I'll take into account what's truly doable with everything else I have on my plate. I encourage you to do the same and don't forget to pencil in some time to truly rest. 

If you're feeling this kind of self-care content, connect with me on Instagram @caraelainee. Until next time, beYOUtiful, keep life sweet, & never stop feeding your soul. -xo

Every year, I do this journal exercise and it always blows my mind how transformational  life can be in just a 12-month period. This year, I'm going to change it up a bit, but we're still going to journal about our top 10 of 2021. Let's get into it!

Now that reflection is out of the way, I like to wrap up this exercise with some time to rest my mind and contemplate how I want to approach goal setting and intention setting for 2022. There's no rush. There's no pressure. When the time is right, I'll find a quiet and calm place to journal the desires of my heart, pray over it, and meditate.

As the new year draws closer, I encourage you to take it easy and be light. If you're feeling this kind of self-care content, connect with me on Instagram @justcaraelaine. Until next time, beYOUtiful, keep life sweet, & never stop feeding your soul. -xo

We all entered this year with a completely different perspective than how it has gone. I'd argue that's probably been for the best, but it's honestly for you to decide. I challenge you to join me in reflecting on 2020's top ten moments. Let's journal!!!

10. Reflect on your bravest moment.
This year I've pushed myself to speak my peace regardless of how harsh or blunt the truth may be. I can recall several times, both professionally and personally, when I have spoken up for myself even in knowing how uncomfortable or upsetting it would be for my audience to receive. It wasn't pretty by any means, but communication is key and it reset the tone for my professional and personal relationships on a track that provided me with peace of mind. 

9. What's the best decision you've made and how has it transformed your life for the better?
Honestly, moving out of my parents' home. I loved living with them and they're the most amazing people I know, but it was time for me to really take on this whole adulthood thing. Now that I've moved out, my appreciation for my parents has grown.

8. Wisest words of advice you've received this year?

• "Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:104 NIV
• "When something doesn't sit right with you, say something." - Mom
• "The most potent weapon of the oppressor is the mind of the oppressed." - Steve Biko
• "It is better to die for an idea that will live, than to live for an idea that will die." - Steve Biko 

7. Your greatest moment of joy?
My birthday. 

6. How have you found peace amongst the noise?
I still pray and journal. I feel like 2020 has been the year of 'alone'. To help navigate this, I've challenged myself to be more consistent with content creation. It helped keep my mind focused on something positive and productive.

5. Your most unexpected blessing?
The amount of time I have had at home because of the pandemic. Since I wasn't able to travel for work, I had the opportunity to take my first graduate level English course. The course was South Africa: Apartheid & Democracy. I loved every minute of it.
​
4. Greatest gift that money could never buy?
Breath to keep going. 

3. How have you taken a leap of faith?
I'm in the midst of giving birth to www.soulcurlykit.com. If you're a fellow curly or have any curlfriends, I highly recommend joining our VIP list to be the first to know when we launch. 

2. How have you strengthened your character?
I've learned to release others of my expectations. We're all individuals on our own journey. I can't expect others to act as I would because that's unrealistic and unreasonable. I've learned that when my expectations aren't met, that's life. But when my standards aren't met, that's a lack of communication that then has to be followed up by proof of actions. It takes two to make all relationships work, and I'm learning to be a better team player. 

1. What's the go to grow (what's next or what do you need to do so that you can level up)?
I'm going to bet on myself. In the past, I've been so consumed with believing in a job, a degree, a friendship, or a man could fulfill what I'm in search of in this life, but I've learned it's just me. I have the passion and resilience, so after that it's all about having faith over fear. I'm blessed to be in a position where I can live my life freely, so I'm the bag and imma secure me. I don't take my legacy lightly. I am building something so much greater than myself. 

Every year, I cringe over this activity, but once it's complete I experience so much relief and gratitude. I wish you and your family love, joy, peace, and good health in 2021.

When I think about the past year, the truth is I don't want to reflect on it. This year has felt like a whirlwind and every time things slowed down so that I could get myself together, I felt like I was in the Zootopia sloth scene (a serious must-see, and if you haven't seen it, click here). Regardless, nothing is promised and I'm grateful for everyday I've had to start again. I challenge you to join me in reflecting on 2019's top ten moments (or just get the tea on my life, that works too). Let's journal!!!

10. Reflect on your bravest moment.
I quit my job mid-year. I had reached a point where I had no peace of mind about my career and I was very confused about what I wanted out of a career. The reality is that once you start working, it never really ends. You spend an overwhelming part of your life at work, and thankfully, I was in a position where I could quit my job and figure out what in the world I wanted to do with my life. 

9. What's the best decision you've made and how has it transformed your life for the better?
I haven't given up on myself or my dreams because I've kept my faith and trusted in God. For example, I have found myself in some situations I never thought I would be in, but I have been able to hold my head high through those times in knowing that God has a plan. Sometimes when I thought things were making a turn for the better, I saw them get worse, but then God would reveal to me that he had something better in store. I believe that keeping my faith has taught me that I need to believe in myself more because God has given me opportunities I never would have even thought I was "qualified" for. 

8. Wisest words of advice you've received this year?

• Pep talks from my mom. 
• "Never let a hard time humble us." -Nipsey Hussle via Bae (TWB)
• "If you can do that, what are you doing working here?" -Colleagues 

7. Your greatest moment of joy?
The numerous dance parties I've had this year. It varies by one of the following three:

• Dancing by myself in my bedroom in front of the mirror
• Dancing with my line sisters
• Dancing with bae

When I'm happy, I like to groove. 

6. How have you found peace amongst the noise?
I mediate,  pray, and journal.

5. Your most unexpected blessing?
I'm happily boo'd up and it's easy despite him living hundreds of miles away from me. This is me speaking into existence for 2020 that we will be living in the same city. 

4. Greatest gift that money could never buy?
Time and a good heart. 

3. How have you taken a leap of faith?
I accepted my purpose and committed myself to achieving that purpose. I'm here to write and to contribute to the arts. I've spent a lot of time trying to run from my calling, but now I'm just focused on becoming my calling.

2. How have you strengthened your character?
I have a hard time letting things go. I'm very aware of this toxic habit, so I've pushed myself to go through the uncomfortable process of letting things go. I have wasted so much time turning my gears over things I cannot control. This year I have given myself endless reminders to just let it go. 

1. What's the go to grow (what's next or what do you need to do so that you can level up)?
In 2020, I am embarking upon a journey of purpose. I want to grow in my career as a marketer. I want to prepare to return to school. I want to be a better friend, daughter, and sister. I'm excited about what's next so I need to stay the course and stay focused.